IT"S OKAY TO SAY NO

Only yesterday, I was going through my Facebook inbox. I came across a message from my friend which struck a cord with me. She’s abroad now, for undergraduate studies.We keep in touch, since we are good friends ;) but with different time zones, :P we have gotten used to inboxing each other and knowing whenever the other gets a bit of time she would reply to that J and that is how we interact since Skype sessions just keep on getting delayed and delayed. Well. About what she said.

She said she really needed to learn to say “No”. Now I know , you might be thinking that was what struck a cord? Seriously? Like what’s so difficult with that?

 Just a mere, simple word. You just have to say no, after all. A single syllable 2 lettered word. How hard could it be? But. This mere word or rather not being able to say this word complicates so much and makes life way more difficult than it actually needs to be. But I have been there and still find myself , there at times. So I totally understand. 

It sucks, big time  :P

 It has taken me a long time to understand what I told her. I believe, it’s totally alright to say no if it’s something that does not go with your core values, morals or ethics or anything that you don’t feel comfortable doing. You don’t always have to say yes even if others expect it from you. If you don’t want to do it, don’t. You are not obliged to anyone. No matter what even if you feel otherwise. I am not saying that you shouldn't be there for others or we shouldn't lend a helping hand when needed but that doesn't mean either that you need to do everything for others.

Not setting boundaries gives you little respect among friends and acquaintances, so they keep asking you for help because they know you're likely to accept. 

While being there for others we tend to leave ourselves behind because we start putting all of them before us. We ignore what we might actually need and starve ourselves. That has happened to me so many times that I have lost count. But what I never used to realize was that by not being able to say no to people I said No to myself. Over and over again.

A simple example.

If you can’t go to the cinema with your friends because your mother didn't permit and you told them no; Your real friends would understand and while they would miss you, they would support your decision. Not like those so called friends who start getting rude, mean and then make you feel guilty and tell you that you are not a good friend because you can’t even do this for them. Stop listening to them. Once you start ignoring their jibes, trust me it gets easier. 

Do what feels right to you. If you don’t want to do someone else’s homework for them just because they asked you sweetly or reminded you that it’s a friendship thing( friends do it for friends crap :P ) don’t. And, don’t feel guilty about it. At all. Specially for people who never are there when you need them for a change. Be it anything!  :P

Saying no is tough.But once you say it, It’s liberating! Try saying it the next time someone expects you to draw all diagrams in their journal just because they are too lazy to do their work themselves and expect it from you.

You don't do people any favors by coming to their rescue constantly."Turning someone down forces them to rely on themselves, which can be a good thing for them in reality. So don’t feel guilty. You don't need to please everyone. Please yourself for a change! It will work wonders. 

 If you ignore their never ending list of tasks you will feel amazing! Trust me!

Be firm and say it once. Mean it. They will get it. Eventually. :P

 Remember it’s your birthright!