HOLDING ON TO THE COMPLETE YOU

Its been too long since I wrote here. I am not sure to why that was, like there is still plenty I have to say and I would like to share but somehow something or the other didn't feel right and I couldn't write a new post. Anyways before I ramble on. Happy new year to you! 

May this year help you bring closer to whatever you have been dreaming on. Don't stop believing. Because I believe MIRACLES happen every day. every single day. 

Maybe subconsciously I myself was looking for something without even realizing that I was. Well. Even now I hadn't thought of writing until 4 minutes ago to be exact, because of something I came across my facebook homepage. 

Funny isn't it? I am one of those people who think rather then lightening your mood on and off facebook' for me' at least gives me something or the other to question myself and seek validation of how I am doing with things, with life. It's rare that you find something that makes everything ahead of you seem brighter. Well this is it. One of those rare times.

There's this post I came across on Humans of New York page. The story itself was good but that wasn't what caught my eye. What caught my eye was a simple comment amongst hundreds of others of a girl who wrote about her father, actually her stepfather. I am sharing the post and then I will tell you why it gave me a ray of hope :)

As the guy above said that Music was his passion and he gave it up when medicine happened to him. Something similar is what happened to me. At least that's how it felt. But now it just changed this very moment. When I decided to pursue medicine, I felt I had to give up a lot too. This doesn't mean that I am dissatisfied or that I regret my decision. Medicine is one of the best parts of my life. This is just stating that I want more. I loved painting and I always dreamed of having this beautiful house one day, that will have this perfect art studio with a library and a beautiful room where, I will sit and look out to the ocean tides and the azure skies and be inspired to write sitting on this mahogany study table( The antique kind ;) 

But I felt it was all taken away when I started studying for medicine. Because it is so demanding and rarely leaves time to relax and is so draining that you think twice before committing to anything else. And I thought maybe This is the end of that dream to write, to paint, to explore the world like I always wanted to. I slowly felt i was withering away. Like there was so much in me to discover, out there to wonder at and I was stuck amongst those books, almost all my time.

The thought as I progressed and would become an accomplished doctor in the future I would lose more of what I had to offer since it's a very demanding profession started strangling me and making me kinda discontent, depressed and sad. I started thinking i would forever be limited to this side. What would happen to the creative other ME I am or at least who I used to be? Will it all just tarnish and turn to dust? 
I didn't have a definite answer until now. But I found it. In the comment on this post.

The daughter stated her father decided to return to Julliard. Its a very well known music school in the states and highly coveted. Musicians dream of making it to there one day. Well the interesting part. He did this after serving 35 years of his life to medicine as a neurologist. Because medicine was his life and music his soul. he decided to have both. then why not me? Why not you? We can hall it ALL. then why settle for less? I was in shock. Wow!

Incredible isn't he? I will never know who he was or what lead him to that. i just know this stranger gave me a gift. the gift to believe to hold on my dreams, to believe that I have my whole life ahead of me. who said doctors are boring? They can be Rockstars, Superstars, whoever they want to be. They just need to be patient and believe that the other side of them will find a way out,too. Just like mine is doing. Slowly, gradually. But it will. That's a promise. 

So I am not giving up on the girl who adores writing and who used to sit and paint whenever she was extremely happy or extremely sad. Neither on the dream of visiting the world, Going to Paris and Turkey and falling in love there. You never know what awaits you. But I am choosing to hold on. So if there is something that made you feel its too late. trust me. It's not. its never too late to live the dream you once dreamed of. Miracles happen everyday! 

Always remember that. Life is once, but if lived to your hearts desire, Once is enough. your day will come. Believe that. Don't let go of your passions. They are a part of who you are and always will be.

 Meanwhile I will go and study since I need to be a doctor too ;)
My patients are counting on it. And I am counting on myself :)