WAITING TO WRITE SINCE ALMOST FOREVER

                                                    "Current state of Mind

                                                   Current Outlook to Life"

I have been meaning to write for so long and somehow or the other, it just never happened. I was so involved in my "real" life that the "reel" life went in the background and faded.

Then thought about writing now and then but never seemed to find the time. A friend recently reminded me what writing meant to me and how I haven't written in long and I should. Because I was probably never going to write if I kept on continuing like I was. And my friend was right.

 Strange how someone close cuts 

through the crap you have lined up and all those excuses I thought were valid enough.

Then I thought about writing everyday, for the past few days but as usual.

 I kept on procrastinating. 

Not because I wasn't motivated enough, but because I had too much in my mind to write about and I just couldn't decide what to write first and how.
I kept on over thinking about the matter and thinking of perfect words, to thoughtful sentences, to whole length articles. And, more.

Yet.

In reality I didn't even write a word. A single word. It just kept on happening in my mind.

Until right now it just hit, out of nowhere,  that the moment I keep on holding out for isn't coming. I gotta start somewhere with something.
The longer you leave something in the middle, the tougher it becomes to get back to it and complete it and capture it. 

While this isn't an assignment that I need to complete or I have a deadline to meet. But all the same, I need to balance it with my other stuff and write when life is still happening to me.
Because isn't that the whole point? 

So here I am, rambling away and probably not making much sense.

 Like, Always. What's new with that?

But I feel good already and I have missed this. The feeling I get when I write.
So while it's still all charged up I will try to write all I wanted to and more.
And work on myself for finding the balance between the life I want to have and dream about with the one I am currently in.

As someone recently reminded, that all the things get complicated when we look back at the past and keep on holding to it. Or when we keep on fretting about what comes next and missing the current moment and the life it holds.

So to trying to live up and live in the present and expecting the unexpected.
Let's see where this takes me and my quest to love my life. And how long I keep up with the pace I am trying to set.

As life it is, with all its imperfections and blobs of this and that with a touch of emotions;

 that I tend to complicate and get so tangled in that I lose sight of things that mean tons to me.

This is it, for now. Back to studying cranial nerves in Neuroanatomy for an upcoming exam which is conveniently on the very next day of my birthday. Which basically, means there goes my very special day down the drain trying to cram and fit in as much as I can in my tiny mind and stressing and fretting. The unfairness of the situation, I tell you.

But oh well. Thats what you call life :)